isaacmarion:

Dust off the disused detritus of our decomposing diorama. Wake the sleeping giants with a fire to their feet. It’s time to fly. There are answers in the sky. Do not fasten your seatbelt.

ESL: English as a Shitty Language

  • Daniel Webster: Sir? I seem to have spilled ink on the list of adjectives. I can’t read the one that means “capable of meeting financial obligations.”
  • The English Language: I don’t remember what that one was. Just pick something. How about “solvent”?
  • Webster: You already used that. It a chemistry noun that means “a substance capable of dissolving another substance.”
  • English: Fuck it, use it again.
  • Webster: But it has a completely separate meaning unrelated to finances, and it's a noun...
  • English: Who gives a shit? I'll call it…a homonym. Words that are spelled and pronounced the same but mean completely different things.
  • Webster: But sir, there are plenty of available combinations of sounds and letters...surely you could afford to give each concept its own word?
  • English: Nah. I'm crazy. It's my thing; people like it. Use solvent.
  • Webster: But sir--
  • English: Who's gonna fuck with me on this, Webster? I'm the English fucking language! They're speaking me all over the world! I do what I WANT!
  • Webster: I kind of hate you...
  • English: Well, you're supposed to.

5 Things on a Book’s Cover That Tell Me I Probably Won’t Like the Book

isaacmarionsbigwords:

1. The phrase “A [Character’s Name] Novel”

2. Mettalic lettering

3. Cover design that uses photos of real human models with visible eyes

4. The words “Saga” or “Chronicles”

5. Two authors

isaacmarionsbigwords:

I’m at a geek culture convention called Fandom Con. Everywhere I look there are superheroes, cartoon characters, and Doctor Whos. It’s basically like walking around inside Tumblr.

isaacmarionsbigwords:

Three men in this coffee shop are working quietly on their laptops. One woman is reading a book. Two other women are arguing the merits of Hogwarts’ national defense policies in loud, shrill, very serious tones like they’re on stage at a presidential debate. Their voices are the only sound in this coffee shop.